I hate confrontation, BUT, I tend to feed into it. It's really wierd & I do not enjoy it. I do admit to the fact that I make a dirty face or two at someone if they hit my ankles with their snot nosed kids stroller-or saying a rude comment just beneath my breath if some idiot rubs me the wrong way (sort of like hearing nails on a chalkboard---this is how I turn my head slightly & sneak a nasty remark in a low whisper to myself). I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I CAN HATE PEOPLE SO MUCH SOMETIMES. It's really sad & I feel like such a hypocrit when I do this stuff-especially since I claim to be a GOD fearing, Christ loving believer. The hardest part is being so lost in my own instances, troubles & faults that I dont even give the people in front of me a second thought...Im so quick to judge, get angered by & "throw the first stone" at them. I really want to learn how to love people-to TRULY LOVE THEM-no matter how much I do not want to, because honestly,they make me want to pull my hair out. I feel so helpless when people show no mercy to me though-like I am the victim & they are the ruthless, controlling losers that need a hug from Ghandi or Mother Theresa in order to grasp the concept of ultimate love felt for the human race. I need help with this-please-even though by NO MEANS do I deserve your thoughts or prayers-keep me in mind. Much thanks.
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